Subject To Change

“Everything changes, nothing remains without change.” Buddha

Posts Tagged ‘suffering

.But I’m Not The Only One

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If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools.”

The above is a stanza from Rudyard Kipling’s poem “If” that’s framed and hung up on my aunt’s wall. It was gifted to her father by one of his closest friends who died shortly afterwards. The whole piece is basically a reflection and a very moving one at that. I especially love that bit, because I am a dreamer and I spend more time in thought than in anything else. Also the way he refers to “Triumph” and “Disaster” as imposters, I agree with this idea completely. Life isn’t about being successful or suffering, it’s the middle path that is important. Life is about getting by. Life is about survival. Life is about making the best of what you have and not depriving others of that. It’s about having as much fun as possible while doing the least bit of harm to those around you.

As for the rest of the stanza, it’s sad when your work is taken and turned into something malicious and against your original intentions. But you have to be strong enough to correct it. You have to be bold enough to stand by your statements and make sure you aren’t misunderstood. When you build something, you have to remember that whatever is built will eventually break. And when it does you have to be the one to rebuild it, because no one else knows what your intentions were and what motivated you and how much you put into it. No one can share that passion that went into it. It is up to you.

The poem has three more stanza’s that you can read here, and it ends with this:

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!”

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December 23, 2008 at 2:49 pm

.Something Beautiful, Something Free

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Like a junkie pleading for one last hit
I feel the need now more than I ever did
Bleeding myself for the blood of my joy
Meddling with needles as though they were toys

I want something beautiful
I want something free
But nothing in life
Comes without a fee

And I have paid the price
Yes, I have paid it well
And I will serve my time
In the jail that you call hell

But that does not bother me
For myself, I’ve always dared
I knew what the risks were
And I was always scared

For an eternity of suffering
Seems quite painful indeed
But just an ounce of heroin
Could give me all I need

So I will tie my arm for one last time
With a black balloon and a gun in my hand
I feel the needle prick and the rush seep in
I take a deep breath with a bullet at the end.

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December 15, 2008 at 9:00 am

.Helping Yourself

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No one can help you if you’re not willing to help yourself. No one is going to bother caring about you when you don’t care about yourself. Even if they do they will get sick of it soon. You have to make the changes. You can’t expect someone to come rescue you. When life gives you lemons, fuck it and move on. You don’t let it bring you down, because then you have more damage to fix. There is nothing in this life that you will go through that you can’t get past except for death. Anything that needs to be done can be done. What you can’t do you don’t need to. But you can’t tell yourself what you can and can’t do. Neither can anyone else. You try everything and prove it to yourself.

Your body should tell your mind what you’re capable of. Your eyes should tell your mind what you see. Your senses should tell your mind what they sense.  Not the other way around. Your mind is what sets the limits on your senses and your body. You are not as small and needy as you think. You are not weak and helpless. You are not “doomed”. You don’t need anyone if you have yourself. But you have to respect yourself first – all aspects of yourself. 

Feeling ashamed isn’t going to help.
Feeling insecure doesn’t make you human.
Suffering doesn’t mean you feel pain.
Feeling numb doesn’t mean you’re immune.
Struggling doesn’t mean you’re fighting.
And losing doesn’t mean it’s over.
It never ends.
There is no finish line.
Stop looking for one.